5 Reasons Unity Between a Mom and Dad is So Important

IIt's a natural game for children: When mom says "no" to something, they think, "Let's see what dad says!" If you've ever said "yes" when your spouse said "no," you've realized that unity between parents is essential for a healthy household and for healthy children.

But it is also important in the life of a child whose parents are divorced, separated, or part of a blended family. I know a mom who recently found questionable content on her son's phone, but when she brought it to the attention of her ex-husband, he simply refused to help her.

Children should be discouraged from provoking such divisions. But it's up to parents to be united when it comes to being united! While not always possible or easy, there are several reasons to strive for unity in your parenting decisions as much as possible:

1. Unit helps both parents build a strong relationship with the children.

When you play Good Cop - Bad Cop, one of the parents loses the relationship with the children. And when the same parent regularly plays "Bad Cop," that amplifies the effect. Persistently seeing one parent as "good" or kinder to children than the other can lead to long-term problems. But when you are united, you both benefit from the "good" choices and both share responsibility for the hard ones.

2. Unity helps develop respect for both parents.

Disagreement can encourage disrespect towards one or both parents. When children constantly see discord between parents, they often go to the roots of the disagreements. And when one parent rejects the other, that attitude is passed down to the children. Unity, however, forces children to deal with a united front, even if there are disagreements in the decision-making process. It's easier to respect a closed front than a divided house.

3. Parental unity helps shape children's character.

Just as water seeks a bottom, children will be drawn to the path of least resistance. Being able to manipulate the parents to get their way encourages the child to always work on beating the system rather than building their character. But when a couple is united in difficult decisions, issues of discipline, and virtues like honesty and integrity, a child's character will benefit.

4. Unity models healthy marriage dynamics for your children.

Disagreements are inevitable in parenting. When these conflicts are managed in a healthy, respectful way between parents, real-life children see what they want and what they need to be like when they later marry. Even if you don't always agree with your spouse, showing your children that you respect your spouse when you support them. And if you are unsure of your spouse's position on an issue, tell your child that you would like to speak to their mother/father first and you will get back to them with an answer.

5. Unity now builds a stronger marriage for later. Eventually it will be just the two of you when the kids are gone.

How you become parents together now will affect how you love and live together later. If you allow the parenting years to be filled with constant discord, quarrels, belittles, or capitulations over disagreements (especially in front of the children), you will destroy the peace and harmony you desire and need when the home is empty. Try to take a long-term view not only of your relationship with your children but also of your relationship with your spouse.

What other benefits do you see in being united as parents? Share your ideas in the comments section.

By: 5 Reasons Unity Between a Mom and Dad is So Important