5 Ways You and Your Spouse can Help Others through Grief

THere's this guy in the Bible named Job. You may have heard of him. He is known for suffering (a lot) and for his patience. But as I recently re-read his story, I am struck by the response of his friends as they visited, worked together to help his grief, and sympathized with him. The Bible says they didn't recognize him. They tore their clothes in shock and cried. They sat with him seven days and nights without saying a word. How many people would do that to me?

They didn't utter clichés or platitudes because they saw the depth of his grief. They didn't just call or pop in for a few minutes and say, "Sorry you're going through this." No. They sat with him for seven days without saying anything. Well, that's real commitment to helping a friend.

Every family faces tragedy at some point. When your friends or family are struggling, by working together, you and your spouse can be of great help to them, but perhaps in unexpected ways.

Here are some tips on how your family can work together to show kindness to your injured friends and help together more than you can alone:

1. Free your spouse to help:

Perhaps your wife needs to comfort a friend. Or maybe your husband needs to help his pal in a time of need. The first and best thing you can do is free your spouse by offering to represent him while he takes care of your friends. Think of it as a pinch for your spouse to step away from normal life to enter the period of a friend's grief.

2. Free your friends to mourn:

Similarly, you may be able to take care of their children or help them with some of their commitments or needs at home so that they can cope with their grief together. The more you can organize your schedule, the more your afflicted friends can focus on the grieving process, free of distractions and details to help you manage.

3. Offer to secure counseling help:

It can be difficult emotionally, let alone financially, to find and accept counseling help if you've never had it before. If you and your spouse cannot afford it alone, consider pooling your resources with other family members and friends who are caring for your grieving friends. Offer to pay for some counseling sessions if you see they need extra help navigating the choppy waters of grief.

4. Be ready to be on call and call:

Let your friends know they can call anytime. But keep in touch with them regularly. You may be afraid of not knowing what to say or want to avoid choking them. But too often, when the cards stop coming and the flowers fade, the quiet times turn into the toughest. Keep in touch with your friends so they know they won't be forgotten.

5. Find practical ways to help, and then do it.

Everyone offers, "If there's anything I can do, let me know," but few actually do anything. Doing something practical instead of just offering help without specifics can really give them the mental space they need to cope with life. Remember that when a family or friend is suffering from difficult circumstances, they don't seem to be able to consistently "think straight" about their normal life or day-to-day needs. Here you can become active and help.

In what other ways has your family or spouse worked to succor an afflicted family or friend? Share your ideas and experiences in our comments section.

By: 5 Ways You and Your Spouse can Help Others through Grief